Life has been a little surreal around here of late.
I’m adapting to many things, crutches in particular, although sometimes I forget all about them and jump up, only to then gaze fearfully around, as though I’m trapped in sinking sand, unable to take a step to retrieve them. I usually end up lunging wildly towards them, which sends shooting pains up and down my leg.
A nurse recently removed my staples, all twenty of them. I remained standing for the procedure. She asked me why my leg was trembling….because it tickled like crazy! It was a truly terrible ordeal!
She was laughing at the skeletons in the stocks and took a picture of them.
How late was I, she asked, I’ve never lost patients like that before.
There have been several firsts.
I wanted to see if I could walk without crutches so took a few tentative, unsupported steps. To my huge relief, my leg didn’t drop off!
While sitting in the back garden, an enormous apple fell on my head, almost knocking me out. Cor blimey, it didn’t half hurt!
I finally summoned the courage to get in the car with hubs again.
When leaving hospital, getting into the car turned out to be rather traumatic. I’d been told that my knee must never to be higher than my hip, so a cushion was required for the car, to raise the height of the seat. Hubs turned up with an extremely thick cushion that I simply couldn’t climb up on, so, I ended up sitting across the back seats with my legs up. Hubs then rested the extremely thick cushion against the door for me to lean on.
He then went off to retrieve my handbag, and opened the door my back was resting against, to hand it to me. My head and upper torso immediately fell out of the car, and of course the dodgy leg shot up in the air!!! You should have heard the screams, they’d have turned a siren to dust. The nurse who had just helped me to the car was horrified. I swear she turned a whiter shade of pale.
Poor hubs, he just bundled me back in, and hoped for the best.
Happily, my next car journey was without mishap. Hubs however, managed to smash his very expensive wing mirror while reversing out of a drive. He wasn’t impressed….at all. His day, however, was only going to get worse.
Still fuming, he arrived home, only to find that Annie had been sick, absolutely everywhere. Oh my……the smell.
Hubs was borderline hysterical, never in his born days has he ever had to clean up vomit.
Annie, of course, didn’t just vomit once, she spent the entire day and most of the evening being sick. OH…..I simply can’t describe hubs’ pain, he hollered, vomited, swore and eventually made the most awful dry retching sounds. I think he may even have cried a little.
Being unable to assist him as I’m not allowed to kneel, I decided to take myself elsewhere, where the air was fresher, so to speak, and I laughed until I cried.
Last Friday I went out! Not just for a drive around the block….but out for an Italian meal. What JOY!!!! I took my cushion, of course, so the dratted knee wouldn’t be higher than the hip, and arranged it on my chair. The manager must have noticed my restless fidgeting and approached our table. He said….
Would you care to try one of my special chairs that I keep upstairs for my older customers?
Of course I would! The poor guy had to cart that chair down a thousand steps, but….wow, it was the right height, had arm rests and was far more comfortable. Bless his older customers! Next time I go there I’ll have to book the table and the chair.
Another first, the dogs lined up in order of height.