The Ratdogs…. by Sam

Hi guys,

most of you know that I’m a laid-back kinda guy, deeply dippy, always chilled and y’know….I’m the fella who takes everyone as he finds them. So when I go walkabout with She Who Must Be Obeyed, The Bloke and Annie, I always see it as an opportunity to meet and greet the guys in my neighbourhood, and there are lots of them, let me tell you! Dogs, cats, horses, sheep, cows, hedgehogs…..oh…and babies, I’m a particularly big hit with the babies!

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 Baby Bear came for a visit….

I’m loathe to boast, but I am a very popular guy, well…..not exactly  with the cats, for some strange reason they don’t seem to take to me at all, despite my very best efforts. There I am, adopting my friendliest possible pose, y’know the one, head high, ears slightly pricked, casual tail wag and disarming smile, and what do I get in return? hissing, spitting, oh…and the most appalling body language EVER…..

Flattened ears, lowered head, arched back and that hideous fluffed up thing they specialise in…..anyway, I digress.

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 She LOVES me…follow me, I say…

During walkabout we tend to bump into the same guys most days. There’s Foxdog, who’s as quiet as his bloke. When we meet they slow down their breathing and gaze intently at me. It was funny today, Foxdog twitched a muscle and his bloke said, very quietly, “I think he wants to play.” Gosh…..such energy eh? He didn’t play though, just twitched his muscle some more and then walked on.

021

 It’s hard keeping everyone sweet…everyone wants a bit of me….sighs….

Then there’s my silky golden girls, I get square smiles, tail wags and pouncing….the fun usually ends when the neck ropes get tangled. I do have my favourites…..know I shouldn’t but I do love Shaggy Bear, Long legs, Stumpy, Sausage, Fluffball and Wolf to name but a few….BUT, there are those out there who have nothing nice about them, at all…..especially the Terrible Ratdogs!

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 The game is on, come ON Baby Bear,  move away from the pond…

Now, every day I cross their path, and every day it’s the same old, same old. They see us coming miles away and start their vicious, hysterical, yippy-yappy-snappy-snarly racket. As they draw closer it gets worse because I now get to gaze into their blood-shot eyes and their spittled, frothy snapping jaws….and at this point they are lunging at me on their hind legs, ‘orrible it is! Their bloke is just as bad, he usually draws his thin rat-like lips back into a tight grimace and mutters darkly about how brave his Ratdogs are for going after a guy like me!

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 Clever girl!. let’s go…time to play the game…..

Now that kinda behavior is bad enough, but it gets even worse….one of the Ratdogs did, on one occasion, draw my blood! It happened as they passed me. They summoned all their energy into a final lunge and one of them nicked  my leg…..and…their rat-bloke knew this and grimaced/smiled…

But,

all that changed today…..

We went through the usual gruesome passing routine and suddenly one of the Ratdogs got loose and came charging at me like a Tasmanian devil/bat outta hell…and then the strangest thing happened…..just as I could smell his breath he began braking…..I could almost see the steam coming off his hind legs. He screeched to a stop right under my chin, actually, he didn’t even reach my knees….he’s only a bit bigger than my head really, I suppose he just looks bigger when he’s on his hind legs. Anyway, there he was and there he froze for a second, and then he did the strangest thing…..unbelievable it was……he took this amazing leap, from standing still….straight up in the air he shot, then he leapt sideways, right into a dual carriageway with two lanes of cars bearing down on him. His rat bloke was hollering at him to come back but he just stood in the road shaking. In the end, My Bloke had to stop the traffic and grab him. It wasn’t very dignified getting scruffed by the back of the neck like that, but at least he didn’t get hit by a car. And you know what….the rat bloke was glaring at me as though the whole thing was my fault!!!

You should have heard the telling off the Ratdog got, as he crept off with his tail between his legs…..Me? I got the usual pat on the head from My Bloke! Life is too short for all that kinda nonsense….but I did sleep blissfully knowing that guy got scruffed!

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Baby Bear with Laura…..she seems kinda nice, I liked her….even Annie did!

And finally…

I’m too big to ever be scruffed like that….thank God for small mercies  eh????

LET’S KEEP IN TOUCH!

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40 Comments

  1. I am remiss, Oh, Sam…I am… for not commenting sooner! I did enjoy getting to know your laid-back personality better, and also enjoyed hearing about your friends ~

    • Hello Glo, how nice to hear from you! I am so glad you enjoyed hearing from me…I may be allowed to talk some more one day!xxx

  2. It’s a dog’s life eh!

    A good script for a play….all those primary school kiddies in different dog and puppy costumes learning about t’other lifestyle – We’ve had ‘Cats’ here comes ‘The Doggies’ and their people.

    Well done him for retrieving nervous dog from the road. I wonder when nervous person/proprietor will have his retrieval, if you see what I mean?

    Bear pup is doing really well and looks at home with her adult canine friends, as they do with her. Xxx

    • Thanks Menhir! I am rather thrilled you think this would be a good script for a play! What fun to see everyone dressed so!
      I don’t think rat bloke would have pulled me out of the road…..and at least My Bloke didn’t get bitten, he is a super scruffer!
      Yes Little bear is coming along nicely, I was surprised to see how big she’d grown.xxx

  3. Wonderful story – I could just picture all the dogs and their owners! Glad to know Ratdog got his comeuppance! x

    • Thanks Veggie Mummy, it was very heartwarming to know rat dog got scruffed, but I bet he still goes after me next time we meet! xxx

  4. The world is a different place through a dog’s eyes! My husband and I always joke that the smallest dogs have the biggest attitudes!

  5. Hi there, Sam. Really enjoyed this talk we’ve had. You’re a man after my heart… that is to say, you’ve got a lot of heart… and I can hear it in your voice. I know this was mostly about the rat dogs, and I have nothing to say about them. We both know that those little creatures are hounded by their need to be recognized, be heard, etc. Not much we can do about that. We were lucky we came into this world big. Small causes complexes. But about cats… and I just happen to be a rather large cat… No point in your going out of your way to please them. They’re too independent. They have no team spirit. They’re never in the mood to please anyone but themselves. You either love them or ignore them… and sometimes they tolerate you… which is enough for cats.

    • Hi Shimon, nice to meet you…..now I love being a man after your own heart, but hearing that you are a large cat slightly unnerves me! But you sound kind so maybe you are the breakthrough, the first cat who likes me!!! That is a cheering thought!
      I must ponder on your advice re cats, I suspect you are right though, especially the part about them having no team spirit….
      I think you are right about the small dog having complexes too, and I think their humans think it’s cute when they go after bigger dogs. Thanks Shimon, you have given me much to ponder on which I shall do after a long nap, it has been a busy day!xxx

  6. Sam with his own post? Whatever next? His very own blog? A very smart dog obviously. Little bear is just too cute.

    • I did enjoy posting on here….but I don’t think I could manage a whole blog, I don’t really have the time, so much to do, walking, running, playing, EATING, squeaking my big squeak, patrolling the grounds, barking at strangers, getting strokes….oh so much to do and so little time to do it….
      Little Bear is SO cute isn’t she…..Thanks Chloris.xxx

  7. Good to see you’ve been encouraging Baby Bear to have some fun in the garden. Well done, Sam and can we have some more of your stories? I’m sure you have plenty of tales to tell!

    • I would be delighted to tell you more of my stories, everything always seems to happen to me!
      It is very hard teaching Baby Bear games, she gets distracted by things and wanders off, but I do try to keep her focused! Thanks Linda.xxx

  8. Sam – you would love my crew. They are a sweet, lovey bunch who would avoid the yappers like the plague. Funny that the ratdogs have a ratowner. None of my dogs look like me but they do act like me sometimes…. 🙂

    • Oh Casa…..how I would love to meet your pack, She Who Must Be Obeyed has told me of them, she has even shown me pictures!
      I think lot’s of dogs behave like their owners and some even look like them…..the ratdogs look JUST like their bloke….scary it is!xxx

  9. WONDERFUL to get Sam’s perspective. I especially love “deeply dippy.” I think George might have some of that gene 😉 As for yippy rat dogs… it’s a good name for their kind. Yippy, snarly, erratic, unpredictable — they’re down right dangerous!

    • Thanks Anne….it’s nice to get a word in here! If you like deeply dippy then you would love me….and I think I would love George, but then again he is a cat…..sighs….deeply dippy or not I doubt he would like me!!!
      I do agree about the ratdogs….xxx

  10. What a delightfful story….marvelous! Good that little ‘nipper, napper’ got saved – hope he…or is it a ‘she’ learnt a lesson…..Well Done Matey! Bet your ‘bloke’ must have reported back home. Mind how you ‘Go’, Chum! Cheers!

    • Hello Bushka, I’m so glad you liked my little nipper/napper story. It is a he….and he has the most awful anger management issues…..sighs….lovely to meet you. Big lickies.xxx

  11. Hello Sam, if you could sniff me you’d know I’m not really a doggy girl … but y’know what? I think you’d melt the hardest heart! Carry on working your charm on the neighbourhood and the world will be a happier place.

    • Hello Gilly….despite you not being a doggy girl I think we would get on like a house on fire, I may be a lump but I am very sociable and love meeting new people. Big lickies….very gentle ones mind, I don’t want to over do it!xxx

  12. Dear Sam,

    We loved your story very much, especially the exciting conclusion. We are so relieved the ratdog did not hurt you or Annie, and we enjoyed hearing about all your good friends, too.

    Our Mom and Dad used to take us to an immense dog park when we were younger, and we ran and ran and ran, but there were a few odd ducks there, too, if you know what we mean.

    Please take care of yourself and tell your Mom to let you write again. (We call our Mom “She Who Must be Obeyed,” too! So does Dad. Ha ha.)

    We live with 5 cats who are sort of our brothers and sister, so we laughed at what you said about them. But we did not say why we were laughing when Finnegan asked. Some things are better kept private, we’ve learned.

    We send you our love and a two-paw salute!
    Clancy and Riley

    PS: Your walkabout path looks beautiful; ours is deep in snow right now! Mom and Dad have shoveled paths for us…as we deserve. 🙂

    • Hello Clancy and Riley,

      I have heard about how you live with cats from She Who Must Be Obeyed, [I think all moms must be called that!] I would dearly like to know how you tame these creatures, I fear I would be very much afraid to have five of them sharing our home….their fang and claw appear sharp to me. We have Curly in the house but he is most important and has his very own room, and we are not allowed to go there….EVER!
      How wise you are to keep our business between us, Finnegan sounds like he could be angered by such talk….and we wouldn’t want that now would we?
      I envy you your snow, Annie and I simply adore playing in the stuff, brings out our inner puppies it does.
      We send our love too and a two pawed salute….we also send our respect for taming the cat creatures….we are in awe!
      Lovely to meet you both, we must talk some more…..we have much to learn from you.xxx

      • You must feel free to share, anytime, Sam and Annie.

        We tolerate the cats, and find them much as we find the couch: there, and comfy to sit upon. Ha, ha.

        No, we really don’t sit on them…they keep to themselves, mostly, although Murphy and Finny have been known to offer smooches and body brushes to Riley, who tolerates this. Once or twice I’ve thought she actually enjoyed it. Once, Mom and Dad discovered Finny had spent the night in Riley’s kennel. She was rather put out, but isn’t one to complain. I have snapped once or twice in the general direction of any cat who gets too chummy with me and that has allowed me to remain free of their cuddling initiatives, I think. We all share Morning Party and Popcorn Party, though. I actually like those times of day.

        Curly sounds pretty lucky, but maybe he will discover he is a bit lonely…and want to be in the rooms where you are. Who can tell with cats? They are endlessly surprising creatures.

        We do love to play in the snow, that’s for sure, especially now that Mom and Dad have dug tunnels for us to run around all over the front yard! We have seen pictures of you running and playing in your Mom’s beautiful gardens. Well, not in them, but around them: you look very happy!

        We send you our love and would also send snow, but Mom (SWMBO) said no. Sigh. She can be a major buzzkill.

        xxoo Clancy and Riley

        • Why thank you guys, it is MOST reassuring to have friends with which to discuss the cat creatures! I must say I fear for the safety of any canine that sat on a cat….I shudder at the very image, I know who would come off worst!
          Gosh, fancy Riley enjoying the body rubs, I think I would enjoy that but I know Annie wouldn’t, she’s rather odd re who is allowed to touch her, but then she’s a collie….
          I have heard about morning parties, and the singing….I am in awe!I feel a howl coming on just thinking about it….
          I am happy to befriend Curly cat but he doesn’t seem to want to be friends yet, and he does the spitty thing which unnerves me terribly….
          I envy you your snow, SWMBO says it will be fine if you send some next winter, but right now it wouldn’t be ideal as all her green things she endlessly fusses about are growing.
          I have SO enjoyed our chat, we must do it more often….it’s always good to have American friends….I wonder if you bark funny???? I would like to hear your accents….xxx

  13. I guess he got the lesson 😉
    Animals should talk, I’m sure could be a better world!
    Serenity 🙂 claudine

    • I do hope Rat dog has learnt his lesson….it is wearisome being lunged at each day….
      Oh….if only you could hear the things I have to tell….big Lickies Claudine.xxx

  14. Well, Sam I really enjoyed this and am so glad to hear that Rat Dog and Rat Bloke got their comeuppance….and at the same time no one was badly hurt:)

    I do have to say that Baby Bear is incredibly cute…..but I am sure you already know that. Also stay cool with the neighbourhood cats…..one of these days they will melt in your presence….and all will be well.

    Have a wonderful evening, snug and warm inside:)xxxxx

    • Thanks Janet, I so pleased to hear that you enjoyed my little tale….that has my tail wagging away….
      I hope rat dog and his bloke will back off a little now, I’d love to know what makes them so angry, glad rat dog didn’t get run over though!
      Baby bear is a little sweetie, it was nice seeing her again.
      Sighs….I hope you are right and that the cats chill one day. Nice to meet you! Big licks.xxx

  15. What a delightful post, and lovely pictures
    Whilst I like most dogs I’m not keen on yappy ratdogs and much prefer dogs like Emmi and you. xx

  16. I blame the ratdogs’ bloke. It’s only a case of teaching your dog some manners, after all. Lovely to see Emmi, she’s growing.

    • I quite agree, it is the rat blokes fault, If Annie or I ever behaved like that we would be given a good talking too. Baby bear is sprouting isn’t she, seems to have latched onto me she has. Thanks Jo.xxx

  17. When I go for walks with my Auntie Sue we often meet rat dogs who do just the same thing to me. I’m not very big and so if we are what I think is too near I just go to the other side of Auntie Sue as I know she wouldn’t let them near me. Otherwise I look straight ahead and ignore them.

    Auntie Sue always says “Good Girl” loud enough for their bloke to hear when we have passed and I feel really proud of myself.

    The other thing that I don’t like is when total strangers come whizzing up to me and sniff my rear end. It’s so rude, I just tuck my tail down and turn away to let them know I am not into that kind of thing.

    Tivvy

    • Hi Tivvy, oh dear, I AM sorry to hear you have rat dogs too…..that’s the pits! Well….sounds to me that you are a level-headed kinda gal and good on your Auntie Sue for having your back.
      And…I QUITE agree re the awkward sniffing, honestly, where are their manners! Nice to meet you!xxx

  18. If dogs could talk, what tales they would tell. Loved this story. Why is it that small dogs are always the worst tempered? My how Emmi has grown – loved that last picture. Well done Sam loved your first blog post.

    • Thanks Elaine….If She Who Must Be Obeyed let’s me get a word in now and then….oh…the things I could tell you! I’m SO glad you like my very first blog post! xxx

  19. Yippy yappy little dogs are a real pain in the butt. Nicely told story.

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